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I  The  Appeal's 

i  Pocket  Series  No.  8 


A  Trip  to 
Plutopia 


15  Cents  Per  Copy 


Published  by  Appeal  to  Reason 

G!inicl,  Kansas 


The  Appeal's  Pocket  Series  No.  8 

A  Trip  to 
Plutopia 


15  Cents  Per  Copy 


Published  by  Appeal  to  Reason 
Girard,  Kansas 


Digitized  by  tine  Internet  Arcliive 
in  2010  witli  funding  from 
Duke  University  Libraries 


littp://www.arcliive.org/details/triptoplutopiaOOIiald 


A  Trip  to  Plutopia 

BY  EMANUEL  HALDEMAN-JULIUS. 

Plutopia  is  Greek  for  Hog:  Island. 
It  is  still  in  the  experimental  stag'e. 
The  dream  back  of  this  venture  is  to 
try  out  the  latest  ideas  in  exploita- 
tion, and  if  successful  the  plan  is  to 
be  applied  generally. 

Plutopia  is  the  heaven  of  the  ex- 
ploiters, the  haven  of  the  twelve  per- 
centers, the  paradise  of  the  dividend- 
ists.  It  is  a  small  body  of  land  com- 
pletely surrounded  by  graft. 

The  system  of  government  is  sim- 
plicity epitomized — in  fact,  there  is  no 
government.  It  is  sublimated  anarchy. 
The  administration  of  affairs  at  Plu- 
topia approximating  perfection,  there 
is  no  need  for  an  organized  govern- 
ment. 

At  present,  there  are  50,000  inhab- 
itants at  Plutopia.  All  but  500  are 
working  people. 


Let  me  begin  with  the  49,500.  When 
one  describes  the  first  he  has  prac- 
tically described  the  last,  for  they  are 
about  alike  in  dress,  habits  and  tastes. 

They  do  not  have  names;  each  has  his 
own  number  and  answers  to  it  like  a 

convict. 

I  had  occasion  to  interview  No. 
31497.  He  told  me  he  was  satisfied 
with  the  way  things  were  run  and 
hoped  there  would  never  be  a  change. 
He  was  very  thankful  to  the  500  in 
the  palaces,  because  they  gave  him 
an  opportunity  to  work  twelve  hours 
each  day  in  one  of  the  rolling  mills. 
He  said  the  first  thing  he  learned  was 
to  believe  that  the  49,500  who  worked 
should  do  nothing  but  work,  while  the 
remaining  500  who  worked  not  should 
do  everything  but  work.  He  con- 
fessed this  was  a  difficult  theory  to 
get  into  his  head,  but  as  his  head  had 
never  been  overtaxed  in  any  way  he 
managed  to  adopt  the  idea. 
*>     ♦     ♦ 

"At    present,"    he    said,    "it    seems 


that  I  always  believed  that  we  were 
supposed  to  work  all  the  time.  The 
plan  is  easy  to  understand.  We  have 
absolutely  no  worries,  and  we  are 
taken  care  of  as  well  as  we've  been 
taught  to  expect." 

This  point  needed  explanation, 
which  31497  was  glad  to  supply.  An 
inventor  in  the  employ  of  the  500 
Plutopists  had  produced  a  pill,  which 
was  placed  on  the  tongue  and  per- 
mitted to  dissolve.  Three  pills  went 
to  a  worker  each  day.  It  was  con- 
sidered sufficient  to  keep  him  strong 
enough  to  work  twelve  hours  each 
day.  As  for  clothes,  wood  pulp  was 
used  for  the  manufacture  of  paper 
sacks,  on  the  back  of  which  was 
printed  the  number  of  the  worker. 

One  huge  building  housed  the  49,- 
500,  each  being  assigned  to  his  room 
which  measured  six  by  eight  feet. 
The  lights  were  turned  off  at  8:50. 
Once  a  year,  on  Christmas  Eve,  all 
were  given  free  tickets  to  a  movie.   It 


was  figured  out  scientifically  that  the 
upkeep  of  each  hand  was  exactly  11 
cents  and  four  mills  a  day. 

No.  31497  said  one  good  feature 
about  the  new  system  at  Plutopia 
was  that  the  men  did  not  have  to 
take  care  of  their  families.  In  fact, 
they  were  not  permitted  to  have  fam- 
ilies. The  women  were  housed  in  a 
separate  building.  The  children  were 
sent  to  a  sort  of  an  orphanage  where 
they  were  educated  to  take  their  place 
in  the  industrial  order  when  they  be- 
come of  age,  which  was  placed  at  nine 
years. 

^    ^    4> 

This  is  highly  interesting.  Let  us 
now  turn  our  gaze  towards  the  re- 
maining 500. 

Where  the  49,500  were  housed  in 
one  building,  there  was  a  palace  for 
each  of  the  beneficiaries  of  Plutopia. 
Having  solved  the  problem  of  labor, 
and  having  cut  down  expenses  to  the 
lowest  possible  point,  the  income  was 


enormous.  They  no  longer  figured 
in  dollars  and  cents.  They  struck  off 
currency  that  began  at  $100,000,  be- 
cause they  never  cared  to  bother  with 
less,  as  it  v/as  considered  very  discom- 
moding to  be  cluttered  up  with  a  lot 
of  loose  change.  While  they  believed 
it  was  ideal  for  the  workers  to  par- 
take of  food-pills  three  times  each 
day,  they  preferred  to  satisfy  their 
gastronomical  desires  with  more  tan- 
gible edibles.  They  imported  chefs 
who  were,  in  reality,  Arabian  magi- 
cians who  waved  a  wand  and  brought 
rare  dishes  from  their  culinary  al- 
chemy. 

There  is,  as  we  have  already  men- 
tioned;, no  government  in  Plutopia. 
The  500  have  things  arranged  so  pre- 
cisely that  there  is  no  need  for  a 
police  force.  By  training  the  49,500 
with  the  utmost  care  there  is  no  need 
to  waste  money  on  policemen,  consta- 
bles and  the  like.  As  for  courts,  they 
also  were  abolished,  as  they  are  con- 


sidered  unnecessary  expenses.  In  the 
old  days,  the  capitalists  spent  huge 
sums  in  their  courts,  but  the  science 
of  controlling  labor  through  psychol- 
ogy enabled  them  to  discard  the  ex- 
pensive system,  at  least  in  this  ex- 
periment station  at  Plutopia. 
*>    ♦>     ■►> 

One  of  the  most  distinguished  look- 
ing of  the  500,  when  inteviewed,  was 
quite  ready  to  talk. 

"Here  is  the  ideal  system  at  last," 
said  the  Plutopist,  unable  to  conceal 
his  satisfaction.  "I'm  sure  that  it  will 
be  only  a  question  of  time  before  the 
world  will  follow  our  methods.  This 
is  the  last  word  in  organization.  We 
have  absolutely  no  doubts  about  our 
hands.  They  are  nothing  more  than 
hands,  because  we  are  careful  that 
nothing  should  get  into  their  crani- 
ums  except  what  we  want  lodged 
there.  There  is  the  secret  of  success. 
Our  hands  are  not  permitted  to 
study,  once  they  are  given  a  place  in 

8 


our  mills,  because  study  after  work- 
ing- hours  is  tiring  and  throws  our 
whole  schedule  out  of  whack.  You 
see,  we  have  just  so  many  calories  in 
the  three  pills  the  hand  gets  each 
day,  and  if  he  wastes  any  effort  we 
might  be  forced  to  give  him  four,  and 
that  would  increase  expenses  one- 
third  of  a  cent,  which  we  could  never 
consider. 

"Besides,  thinking  is  bad  for  con- 
tentment. We  don't  like  them  to 
think  about  anything  but  their  work. 
If  there  is  any  thinking  to  be  done 
around  here,  we  take  the  job  on  our 
own   shoulders." 

"What  must  be  done  before  a  per- 
son can  become  one  of  the  500?"  the 
Plutopist  was  asked. 

"Nothing.  We  have  a  closed  cor- 
poration and  we  try  to  pass  the  prop- 
erty on  only  to  our  blood  relatives. 
Sometimes  we  reach  out  and  invite 
outsiders.  But  the  best  method  is  that 
of  inheritance.     We  got  it  from  our 


parents,  and  our  children  will  get  it 
from  us.  It's  much  like  being  a  crown 
prince." 

"How  about  the  49,500?  Do  they 
stand  a  chance  to  join  your  500?" 

*'0f  course  they  do.  They  have  a 
wonderful  chance.  If  we  happen  to 
like  one,  we  could  have  him  admitted 
to  our  ranks  by  voting"  on  the  ques- 
tion. A  unanimous  vote  is  needed, 
however.  But  that  doesn't  alter  the 
fact  that  our  hands  have  an  equal 
chance  to  take  our  places." 

"Have    you    ever    admitted    one    of 

your  hands?" 

"No,  not  yet.    We  may  some  day." 

"Aren't  you  a  little  afraid  that  this 
army  of  hands  might  get  organized 
and  throw  your  friends  into  the  dis- 
card ?  " 

"Ah,  you  mean:  Are  we  afraid  of 
Socialism?  Not  a  whit.  Our  hands 
are    too    well    trained.      You    already 

10 


understand  how  we  take  them  through 
our  training  school  and  turn  them  out 
perfect  workers.  That  is  our  strong- 
est argument.  Our  scientists  are  now 
at  work  on  a  still  bigger  idea.  This 
is  confidential,  of  course." 

"Certainly,"  I  answered.  "Not  a 
word  will  be  said  about  it." 

"Very  well,"  he  answered.  "See 
that  it  goes  no  further.  We  are  work- 
ing on  a  wonderful  idea.  We  see  the 
possibility  of  doing  away  entirely  with 
our  expensive  training  school!" 

This  was  interesting.  Urged  to 
continue,  he  added: 

"If  nature  is  able  to  give  us  human 
beings  with  hands,  eyes,  ears  and 
finger  nails,  why  not  have  nature  go 
still  further  and  present  us  with  hu- 
man beings  who  already  have  the 
ideas  we  try  so  hard  to  inculcate?" 

This  was  too  brilliant  for  syntax. 
They  had  hit  on  the  amazing  idea  of 

11 


breeding  ideal  hands.     It  was  almost 
unbelievable. 

"We'll  work  it  out  in  time.  Our 
hope  is  to  combine  the  strength  of  the 
ox  with  the  blind  loyalty  of  the  dog, 
the  self-sacrifice  of  the  egg-laying 
hen  and  the  mentality  of  the  jackass. 
It's  revolutionary,  but  it  can  be  done. 
When  we  succeed,  our  problem  will 
be  solved  for  all  time." 
*:<   <?  ♦ 

The  interview  at  an  end,  I  applied 
for  a  pass  to  the  training  school. 
Being  a  friendly  sort  of  person  and 
knowing  there  could  be  no  harm  in 
granting  the  request,  the  Plutopist 
wrote  out  the  order. 

I  began  my  tour  in  the  kindergar- 
ten. There  I  saw  a  large  class  of 
children,  all  under  five  years  of  age. 
They  were  being  taught  how  to  use 
words.  In  unison  they  recited:  "I 
vvant  to  work!" 

"Very  good,"  said  the  teacher. 
"Very  good.     Now  try  to  put  a  little 

12 


more  gladness  into  your  voices." 

With  added  enthusaism,  the  chil- 
dren yelled:     "I  want  to  work!" 

It  was  inspiring. 

Next  came: 

"Twelve  hours  a  day!  I  want  to 
work!     Twelve  hours  a  day!" 

The  teacher  announced,  a  little  later, 
that  the  children  must  say  this  100 
times  each  day,  including  Sunday.  In 
the  next  class,  the  children  are  given 
little  jobs.  The  mills  were  repro- 
duced in  miniature  and  the  children 
were  impressed  with  the  fact  that  the 
greatest  happiness  would  come  when 
they  became  old  enough  to  go  into  the 
genuine  mills.  In  the  miniature  the 
youngsters  tended  machines  that  were 
as  tiny  as  dolls  and  yet  able  to  do 
satisfactory  work.  Incidentally,  these 
children,  despite  the  smallness  of  the 
tools,  turned  out  quite  an  amount  of 
goods,  but,  unfortunately,  the  output 
was    not    enough   to    cover    expenses. 

13 


This  was  the  fatal  flaw  in  the  system 
and  undoubtedly  was  the  reason  why 
the  500  wanted  to  do  away  with  it  en- 
tirely and  resort  to  having  the  chil- 
dren born  with  the  idea  of  the  virtue 
of  work  and  the  blessedness  of  pro- 
ducing for  others. 

As  stated  before,  when  the  child 
becomes  nine  years  old,  a  place  is 
found  in  the  mills.  Up  to  then,  the 
total  cost  of  upkeep  for  each  child 
is  four  and  six-tenths  of  a  cent  per 
day. 

>:*    >:♦    *> 

I  heard  a  great  commotion.  The 
teachers  were  rushing  about  in  terror. 
Something  fearful  must  have  hap- 
pened. I  rushed  along  with  them  and 
when  the  opportunity  presented  itself 
I  asked  the  cause  of  this  excitement. 

"It's  too  terrible  for  words,"  an- 
swered the  person  to  whom  I  had 
directed  my  question.  "It's  the  first 
time  such  a  thing  ever  happened." 

"What?"  I  demanded. 
14 


"The  children  in  the  kindergarten 
were  repeating  their  lesson  a  few 
minutes  ago  and  everything  was  going 
nicely.  They  were  saying  'I  want  to 
work'  as  they  should  when  one  boy 
forgot  himself  and  said:  'I  want  a 
pair  of  skates!'  It's  too  terrible!  too 
terrible!" 

And  then,  trying  to  excuse  the  slip, 
the  teacher  added: 

"It  may  be  a  hereditary  taint.  It 
must  be." 

"What  makes  you  think  so?" 
"It  has  been  reported  that  this  boy's 
father  is  a  dangerous  character  who 
will  bear  watching.  Once  he  made  a 
remark  to  the  effect  that  he  thought 
it  might  be  a  good  idea  if  the  hands 
got  four  pills  a  day  instead  of  three. 
Think  of  it!  He  actually  proposed 
an  increase  in  rations  of  200  calories, 
or  1,400  a  week.  Oh,  we  must  watch 
these  hands.  Even  after  the  best  kind 
of  an  education  they  are  likely  to  get 
socialistic  ideas." 

15 


"What  will  you  do  if  they  threaten 
to  go  on  strike  for  the  extra  pill?" 

"Oh,  there  are  plenty  of  ways  of 
handling  the  issue.  If  feeling  gets 
strong  and  it  begins  to  look  as  though 
they  stand  a  chance  of  winning,  we'll 
give  in  to  them." 

"Is  it  possible?" 

"We  will  give  in,  but  there  won't  be 
any  real  difference  in  the  end.  Let  me 
explain.  They  get  600  calories  a  day, 
and  as  we  control  the  manufacture  of 
food-pills,  we  will  give  them  four  a 
day,  but  there  will  be  150  instead  of 
200  calories  in  each.  That's  one  way. 
But  I  don't  think  it  will  ever  come  to 
that  point.  We  have  them  too  well 
trained." 

Yes,  Plutopia  is  a  wonderful  island. 
It  will  work  as  long  as  the  hands  con- 
sent to  work.  But  so  long  as  there 
are  youngsters  who  crave  a  pair  of 
skates    and    a   grown-up   who   doesn't 

conceal  his  desire  for  an  extra  pill, 
there  is  a  standing  menace  to  the 
future  security  of  Plutopia. 

16 


M 


-^m 


